Haiku Pickup Lines

Feeling bad? West Nile? Girl, seems like you came down with the Best Smile Virus. —via

Sat, 22 Sep 2012 11:35:29 -0400

Feeling bad? West Nile?
Girl, seems like you came down with
the Best Smile Virus.

—via

Were you in Girl Scouts? You tie my heart in knots.  I tagalong, half-hitched.

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 07:58:27 -0500

Were you in Girl Scouts?
You tie my heart in knots.  I
tagalong, half-hitched.

My chances with you, infinitesimally smaller than your heels.

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:23:50 -0400

My chances with you,
infinitesimally
smaller than your heels.

I wanna lick, lick, lick, lick you from your head to your toes. (Metaphor.)

Thu, 03 Feb 2011 08:53:00 -0500

I wanna lick, lick,
lick, lick you from your head to
your toes. (Metaphor.)

Let’s go Eighties Mall Style—your hand, my back pocket. And mine? Vice versa.

Mon, 17 Jan 2011 23:27:39 -0500

Let’s go Eighties Mall
Style—your hand, my back pocket.
And mine? Vice versa.

“There was an error processing your request?” Who are you, Tumblr?

Sun, 02 Jan 2011 16:04:19 -0500

“There was an error
processing your request?” Who
are you, Tumblr?

Your eyes, they sparkle. Our chemistry like bombs. The fallout…fireworks.

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 22:48:00 -0500

Your eyes, they sparkle.
Our chemistry like bombs. The
fallout…fireworks.

My Resolution? You and me don’t leave ‘til we exchange kisses, girl.

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 22:45:26 -0500

My Resolution?
You and me don’t leave ‘til we
exchange kisses, girl.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot? In the morning? Post-breakfast? New year…

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 14:28:00 -0500

Should auld acquaintance
be forgot? In the morning?
Post-breakfast? New year…

This place is full of pseudointellectuals. Let’s go tip some cows.

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 12:21:56 -0500

This place is full of
pseudointellectuals.
Let’s go tip some cows.

Ouch! Your feet must be tired. Because your heels are ridiculous stilts.

Sat, 25 Dec 2010 12:04:07 -0500

Ouch! Your feet must be
tired. Because your heels are
ridiculous stilts.

Here’s your present. It’s a Rick In A Box. “Never gonna give you up…”

Sat, 25 Dec 2010 10:51:00 -0500

Here’s your present. It’s
a Rick In A Box. “Never
gonna give you up…”

I take your picture? I need to show Santa what I want for Christmas.

Fri, 24 Dec 2010 20:01:07 -0500

I take your picture?
I need to show Santa what
I want for Christmas.

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house… your discarded clothes.

Fri, 24 Dec 2010 14:24:56 -0500

‘Twas the night before
Christmas and all through the house…
your discarded clothes.

You’re a classy girl; I’d like to stuff your stockings full of dollar bills.

Thu, 23 Dec 2010 11:38:06 -0500

You’re a classy girl;
I’d like to stuff your stockings
full of dollar bills.

Tickets to the gun show? I’ll sell you a seat, but you’ll just need the edge.

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 11:42:00 -0500

Tickets to the gun
show? I’ll sell you a seat, but
you’ll just need the edge.

You must be tired… because parking is mad hard in this neighborhood.

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 11:17:00 -0500

You must be tired…
because parking is mad hard
in this neighborhood.

Was your father a baker? I’m just curious about your family.

Sun, 19 Dec 2010 09:37:20 -0500

Was your father a
baker? I’m just curious
about your family.

I thought all the good domain names were taken, but you’re thebomb.com

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 23:28:00 -0500

I thought all the good
domain names were taken, but
you’re thebomb.com

You really can’t stay? But baby it’s cold outside. Human Blanket Time.

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 10:59:44 -0500

You really can’t stay?
But baby it’s cold outside.
Human Blanket Time.